"What's a scam that's become so normalised, we don't even realise it's a scam anymore?
...
The idea that you need caffeine - or some form of stimulant to help you wake up, function or get through the day. You don't." *
How old were you when coffee suddenly became a part of your life, and you couldn't imagine life without it? 15? 20? 30? It doesn't really matter. All that matters is that there was a time before coffee. Children don't need a caffeinated beverage to 'feel normal' again. You could easily argue coffee has fuelled the progress in our society, yet it (caffeine) is undeniably as addictive as any drug, and like many drugs, it became the solution to the problem it created. We all villainise alcohol, cocaine and other drugs for getting people hooked and dependant, but we let coffee get away with it. I'm not a fan of either of those former two, but it feels like double standards to me. Why have I never seen a movie depicting a down-and-out espresso junkie?
It's just too easily accepted - I mean WTF - 90% of adults in the world consume a caffeinated beverage every day! 🤯
Sure - we want to be able to do more. We want to feel on top of the world (for a few hours at least). If survival of the fittest applies to plants - the nobel prize goes to coffee beans for getting foolish humans to cultivate it across the world and ensure they have to consume it every day.
I'm not going to tell you you have to stop drinking it either. Coffee has worked out that to survive long-term it can't mess up humans enough to end up in the category with other drugs, and many people will argue coffee enhances their lives. Most people have found a way to mix coffee into their daily lives without any obvious downsides (that they are aware of at least - everyone knows when the after dinner espresso was a stupid idea).
It's worth balancing that point with this one - there could be unseen damage being done. Too much caffeine has been linked to early death, high blood pressure, risk of heart attacks, and actual reduced grey matter in your brain amongst a few other things.
But I'm not here to talk about the unseen. For some, coffee is blatantly a problem. I know myself (well, in hindsight it's obvious), that even just having one coffee in the morning was enough to cause me terrible sleep that night and groggy mornings where my brains first waking thought was the hope coffee might come out of the shower head and penetrate my skull. On top of that, myself and countless others have upset stomachs, increased jitters or just general anxiety we didn't need. Sadly, for many people with IBS and anxiety, they just haven't even made the link that the harmless hot brown drink everyone else is consuming with smiles on their faces could be the problem for them. So like a fly banging against the glass pane to get out, missing the open window two inches to the left, they keep on doing what they are doing.
The problem is giving up caffeine is H.A.R.D. Some are certainly wired to be more susceptible to it's effects than others. For me, it took over two years of trying, crashing and burning before I finally cracked it. Even Michael Pollen agrees, that after going caffeine free for three months, it still wasn't worth living life without it. Even when you're over the headaches and cravings somewhat, your brain can still feel like it's permanently wired the wrong way, like a petrol engine trying to get by on diesel without a system re-fit.
There's hope. Many people have done it, and from what I can see, the solution can be very individual. But my most basic learning was this - you can't just swap caffeine for nothing. At least in the short term. I can go without caffeine now, but to get here I needed an alternative crutch. Sure, if you can go hide away from society, in a sunny paradise where you have zero stress, can sleep in all day, and soak up vitamin D whilst watching Netflix comedies, it would probably be easier. But most of us live harder lives. With actual stress - physical, psychological and emotional. We have to battle through, and we need things to help us.
Enter theobromine. I genuinely think, theobromine is the tool humanity kinda missed out on** because it isn't as addictive as coffee. Theobromine does stimulate, giving you energy by increasing blood flow around your body while relaxing cardiac muscle tissue. But it sucks at crossing the blood brain barrier and having as strong an impact on your central nervous system as caffeine. It doesn't boost adrenaline, cortisol or bind to your adenosine receptors (or in other words it won't screw up your head like caffeine). If caffeine was the ultra-hot guy at the party with the jawline to die for which leads to a morning of regret and days of mixed messages, theobromine is the cute guy, who everyone loves to be around, and your parents would love to see again. He just won't take you partying all night and make out with you in a casino toilet at 3am***. Pick the ones you want to wake up with for the rest of your life carefully.
With it's blood circulating and cardiac muscle tissue relaxing power, theobromine pairs really well with with other things that just happen to be sitting next to it in cacao - like magnesium, phenylethylamine, and tryptophan to name a few, all of which help you feel really relaxed and reduce stress and increase feelings of well being via serotonin (Nicely done nature!). In fact serotonin is the same neurotransmitter that the 'love drug' ecstasy stimulates (in far more extreme amounts of course!) - so falling in love with theobromine instead of caffeine may not be to hard at all! 🥰
Theobromine in cacao was the winning strategy for me to get by without caffeine. And I still use it for energy and anti-stress purposes today - but (and you'll just have to believe me for now) I don't think about it when I open my eyes every morning. I don't crave it, or struggle to function without it.
I'm fascinated by what other natural foods exist which could have massive impact on our quality of life, our health and how we see the world. I think as humans we are just scratching the surface of understanding what nature can do for us, and the idea that I could've gone my whole life without learning just this one small lesson scares me.
In summary, is coffee a scam? No. That was just a catchy headline, but it is addictive, problematic, and not enough people are questioning just how much control it has over our lives.
Feel free to disagree with me over on Instagram or get in touch!
*Credit to Sila's tiktok post over at Not Coffee. Yeah I'm writing a blog post, but I'm not too out of touch.
** The Mayans knew what they were doing to be fair.
*** This might be a terrible analogy. I'm not a bad boy, you can probably tell.
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